


Breathing Underwater

by orphan_account



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Character Study, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-18
Updated: 2014-06-18
Packaged: 2018-02-05 03:00:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1802929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A brief Rachel introspection, set after her and Sarah's confrontation at the Dyad event.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Breathing Underwater

Rachel was walking at night. She wasn't supposed to be. In fact, one of the first of many messaged Dyad had grafted onto her conscience had been to keep inside, to keep safe. _Sarah must be rubbing off on me,_ She thought dryly, as she click clacked her way over the rotting boards of the pier. She kept her eyes straight ahead as she walked. If there were other people on the boardwalk, she didn't notice them. She knew Paul was behind her. _My monitor,_ She thought with a venom that surprised even her. Rachel wheeled around then, facing Paul. He didn't blink. She leaned into him, close enough to kiss him. "You're dismissed, Paul," she breathed, "Go home." Paul didn't respond, didn't close the distance between them, and Rachel didn't wait for him to. She turned around and stalked away. Rachel's heels hit the pavement forcibly as she tried to tell herself that she wasn't running away. _For what do I have to run away from?_ She reached end of the pier and removed her shoes and jacket, leaving them folded neatly on the dock behind her. With remarkable dexterity for a woman in heels, she lifted herself over the edge so that she was perched on the dividing line between the earth and the sea. She balanced carefully as the wind ruffled her hair. Her bare feet swayed delicately over the edge. Rachel was quite a sight. A prim a proper businesswoman, sitting without a blazer or shoes on the edge of the pier, the night wind blowing her perfect hair into her face and eyes. But for once in her life, Rachel didn't care about appearances. She watched the dark water bellow as it threw itself at the rotting boards that held up the dock. Rachel wondered, for a moment, what it would be like to jump. To become part of that stormy abyss, to fall through air and water and leave Dyad and Sarah and this whole damn world behind. _Perhaps the want to end one's life is genetic,_ Rachel considered. She threw her head back and laughed, a terrifying sound like breaking glass that twisted her entire face into a mask of mirth too monstrous to be created by and man. But then again, Rachel was not created by man. She was above them all, stronger, more intelligent, **better** than them. _Then why am I here?_ she thought, her face contorting itself back into a shape that was far too terrifying to be called a smile. Rachel knew the answer of course. She was here because she was weak. She was here because she had forgotten who she was. She had forgotten **what** she was. Rachel was not a man, nor a beast. Rachel was a god.


End file.
